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; J.Gan



2010-10-04 : 自卑!
Self-doubt is good, keeps you working. Not easy to tread the thin line between motivation and discouragement, however. I can't remember any of my Gen Med stuff. Nowadays when I don't know stuff, a small voice in the back of my head says. "wooly would have known that." It's a great stick, but there's a long way to go, and I'm not sure if there's a pot of gold at the end.

Do a challenging spec and have to accept the fact that you'll never be the best, or do something slightly more boring, that seems to suit your skillset better, with the knowledge that it'll probably stop offering satisfaction much sooner? It's not easy. Job satisfaction is important. Being good at what you do is important too. Money is nice to have. So is a lifestyle.

Out of all those, I think I'd rate job satisfaction most important, with money and being good tying for second. Lifestyle is the least important! Of course, everything will be much clearer on hindsight in twenty years or so, so if I just wait until 2030 I'll be able to make a proper decision.

Angst at bad memory!

What's the point of having real life survivability skills like a nigh-infallible sense of direction and a quick grasp of problems and concepts, when you could instead have a great memory for medical facts and rely on other people or the grid for directions and explanations?

If I could trade one skill for another, would I? Would the total value even be enough for a better memory? Hurhur. If only you could respect in real life. Perhaps I would spend some of my skill points differently.

I guess when you scrape into a class of some of the brightest minds in the country on personality and elbow grease, it's inevitable that you'll be near the bottom.

自卑!

written at 10:09 p.m.

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