It's been happening a lot lately. It's destroying my self-confidence. Especially when I can't remember stuff that happened only a posting or two ago. Like in ophthalmo. It makes me sad that I can't remember stuff like some people can. And it's hard to know how I'm doing when there isn't any one to measure myself against. I can't measure myself against the pros, because they always know the stuff -_- and I can't measure against the average people because they either don't know the stuff, or they'll mug it up when I'm not scouting ahhhh

I couldn't remember a lot of the ecg stuff today. It made me very sad. I don't know whether to be happy that there's always someone in my CG that I can ask for help, or to be sad that I'm always asking someone in my CG for help.

Some days I'm pretty sure that I'm going to fail mbbs or become a lousy doctor. What if some day I need to remember the treatment for acute angle closure glaucoma and can't? That would mean I'm a lousy person. I can't remember the fluid orders for paeds (why do we give half over 8hrs and the other half over 16hrs?) I can't remember lots of things.

Okay I'm going to shower now and macro up some sleep so I don't get instagibbed by CG mates. Half of them own you up on the spot, the other half own you up later after stealth mugging or with stealth memory. I'm the worst candidate in my CG omg

written at 12:12 a.m.