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; J.Gan



2009-08-28 : For your reading pleasure
I do my best not to whine, but it turns out that often now, this is where I come when I want to whine. I try not to complain about stuff to people, and this is moderately better for me, because it's complaining by proxy. The blog deals with all your "omg another entry complaining about life?" looks and other stuff.

First! For some strange reason, everything always seems to happen on the same day. For example, I'm sick, there's PHS this weekend, as well as a family thing that just cropped up, and all of them are trying to occupy the same timeslots. Admittedly it's my fault, because I knew about both of them a while ago, I just never really drew the connection between the two.

More like I knew I had PHS, and I knew I had the family thing, but the way I work is that I only mentally confirm events about a week in advance, (and less if I'm not on holiday) and this was worse, because for the past 9 weeks I'd been in the lovely fuzziness of the gen med posting, (is it Tuesday or Friday?) and so hadn't bothered to think about anything but gen med. (did I have this for lunch yesterday as well? O.O)

So anyway.

Our short one week holiday's almost over, and my emotional needs are unsatisfied yet again. I haven't done anything much, partly because I've been sooo tired, and partly because there isn't really anything to do. I mean, I can study, or I can go out by myself, or I can use the computer.

Not a lot of variety, if you know what I mean.

Perhaps the reason I'm always alone is that it's something that I do to myself? Perhaps I have a subconscious need to destroy the things that make me happy or something. Or maybe it's that I'll never be satisfied.

Or maybe I just haven't found what I'm looking for, and everything is a side-effect of the aforesaid. The overflows of frustration, and many other feelings that I can't articulate. Promulgate? Mm.

written at 6:45 p.m.

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