I tend to feel really bad spending money that is not my own. Which is why it is absolutely imperative that I win the lottery as soon as possible. And it will be the first prize! First prize or nothing.

So far, I havent' won, so maybe the plan to win first prize isn�t working out too well. Perhaps if I lowered my expectations to second prize or something�

Anyway. By the time I win, it'll probably be too late for me to use the money. For that I am deeply regretful, but if that is the way my life works out, there is nothing I can do about it. Of course I could just disregard the guilt and plan a trip, but I am bound by my conscience. And I refuse to dig my own grave (spend so much on Europe trip!) ah, I can hear her already.
Well. /emo.

written at 9:41 p.m.