You know, she barely knows me. I think these few years we�ve only met less than 20 times? Man, she�d be shocked if she knew what I was writing.

I�m such a fool. Always carrying a torch, thinking that the person is perfect. My mind always takes faded memories and photoshops them into vibrant beautiful pictures in Technocolour. So the person becomes like the Perfect person. Haha it�s dumb isn�t it? So the more I know people the less I can go into self-denial, which is more or less why I haven�t tried to get to know her better all this time. Destroys the image, ya see. (actually it�s because I haven�t had a chance, but you didn�t read that here!)

I know it�s loserish, but maybe this is the best situation for me. The escapist�s equilibrium; stay at a distance, just watching and hoping she�ll notice me someday.

********

Damn, what a horrible entry. I�m sure you people out there have better things to do than to read this sort of angsty I�m-in-pain-but-don�t-help-me sort of entry.

Can you believe I almost fell asleep last night thinking about dota? Super weird. I was just falling asleep when my mom shouted at me (�don�t put the dirty jacked on my clean pyjamas! Now I�ll have to wash them again!�) and woke me up. Just goes to show that I need to get out more. Hahah.

Sorry, this entry ends here. Funny how my mind works so fast when I�m out but just goes blank when I�m facing the word window. Goodnight.

written at 11:13 p.m.