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; J.Gan

2004-11-20 : After "O"s
So now what?

I�m supposed to be happy, and jump around singing, and hugging people in the street?

It�s been a bad year overall, and that includes the rest of it. Just an extension of last year. This year sort of shattered last year and then cleaned up nicely, leaving a nice blank slate. But under the surface� I don�t know. It�s just rotting and empty.

One thing I learned these two years: Don�t be kind-hearted.

Is all this sounding rather depressing? I can�t help it. Finally I can let out some of what I�ve been holding in. You know how much f*cking discipline it took to just shove it deep down inside and study? No you don�t. Nobody does.

********

Actually, this year wasn�t so bad. See, when I cleared my wallet, I found about 10- odd movie tickets? And that�s definitely more than I went out last year. And this year I still have good memories! So perhaps you�ll just ignore the stuff above the asterisks.

Or maybe not. Don�t ignore it.

Well, you won�t see me around for a week from Sunday.

I have to leave for school at 0845. It�s graduation. The whole wear-your-tie-and-walk-across-the-stage-and-shake-the-principal�s-hand thing. And after that grin geekily at the audience and stumble off the stage. I shall bring a camera.

I want to go to VJ. Science. But how to, with 12points-4?

I Hate My Life.

written at 7:35 a.m.

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