old
design
Diaryland
; J.Gan

2004-09-13 : whee.
I knew it was a lost cause. This is where I officially give up. After all, if you�re ignored, a friendship doesn�t really have much meaning anymore, does it? So what if I can control 70% of my life. It�s that other 30% which I�d rather control. I�d gladly give up 50% of my fitness for 50% more character and/or popularity. Like someone once said, it�s easy to have many friends, but not to have good ones. I have yet to find a good friend.

So once again, why should I be sad? We�ll just return to the happy-go-lucky tactic. I wonder how many other people act happy, but are actually empty inside?

I�ve said so many times I don�t belong here. Now I�m not so sure anymore. I think I�m just parrying the blow. Would I really be better off in RI or whereabouts? After all, I�d still be me, wouldn�t I? So I�m really not sure. The world doesn�t need me. It�s more the other way around, isn�t it?

********

Illness has overtaken my immune system. And tomorrow is Emath. And this week is the heaviest week. So I am. Dead.

Isn�t life wonderful?

written at 8:02 p.m.

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