The cup signifies your first relationship. If it was white, your relationship was likely a rather pure, innocent one. If it was black, the relationship was likely the opposite. Did you take the cup with you? If you did, it means you either took a while to forget your first love, or still haven�t forgotten it� You are probably a sentimental person. If you left it there, you fall into the category of those who are more �ungrateful�, for want of a better term.�

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Gu Lao Shi asked us this at jiang today� In chinese, of course. My cup was white, and I took it with me, so I�ll say it�s quite accurate. Although I�m not sure if we were ever really together� If she ever considered me at all�

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Actually when I went for jiang today, I was still feeling quite ok� But when I went in, the feeling sort of evaporated� I�d rather not say why� I�m not entirely sure myself.

Yeah, and even the arrival of the-really-chio-girl-with-fantastic-earrings-which-she-changes-every-lesson couldn�t cheer me up� So I was really quiet the whole lesson. In fact, I was feeling too down to even notice what earrings she was wearing today. I think her name is yuhui or something like that� but I�m really not in the mood for this today.

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I�m like a circuit without a fuse� No real control� I don�t know what�s right and what�s wrong. I mean, for quite a while, whenever people have been nasty to me, I�ve just taken it and gone along with it. I was never even angry with them� But now as I think more� Even though we�re supposed to be friends� Should I just sit here keep taking it? Isn�t it rather stupid? But as mentioned, I�m a sentimental sort of person� I don�t really think it�s good to just say I don�t want to be friends anymore�

Confusing.

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At least now i�m getting along ok with this group of guys in school� But inside there�s still this sort of empty space. I�m not sure what will fill it. But I�m still sort of lonely emotionally.

Maybe I�ll update more tomorrow� Friday was quite a fun day.

written at 10:04 p.m.