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; J.Gan

2003-11-01 : Scolded for report book results
Well. My Prediction was correct, as usual. My mother scolded me like hell when she saw my report book. Just as well I had avoided her for most of the day. I got 2 slaps, and she tried to attack me from every side possible. I wont pretend. I have been bad and my exam results are horrendous. But I can�t stand her trying every angle possible to scold me. First, It was from the angle of results. Then it was about my hair. I mean, what would my hair have to do with my results? nothing. And I told her so. She tried to argue from many other points, but I havent been THAT bad and was about to make adequate explanation to cover my ass. Yes. I had proof to support her every accusation. So in the end, I cut down all the points of attack until there was only one left. That was that my results were bad. Nice and Simple, the way I like it. I havent felt that sort of satisfaction for a long time. The last time was when I forced Zhong Ming into a stalemate.(A Very well-executed one too, I might add.) and anyway, it was satisfying.

The worst part was when she belittled my chinese results. From a failure to a pass is nothing. Yeah Right. Does she know how FECKING HARD I worked for that 36 mark increase. No. Bcause she only sees me playing and not working my ass off. She never felt my anxiety or my pain when I failed yet another chinese test. She didnt lose nights over whether her chinese would fail or pass. I did. At one point, she actually said my chinese was lousy or something and I said not anymore and that shut her up.

Oh and yesterday I was partially Enlightened. I am no longer scared of my mother. I hace overcome my primal fear and instinct and discovered that the only reason I feared her was that she would cause me pain. Well now I can take the pain. So there. I am no longer afraid. So There.

Well, I am busting my butt once again for my A1 in chinese. So. Anyway it's wough going but I know it'll be worth it in the end. So I'm busting. And Will continue to do so until after the chinese O levels. To anyone out there who ever loses hope; don't, because there is always a path to take. If there isnt, make your own. I did.

written at 10:06 p.m.

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